The Danish toy manufacturer, renowned for its historic use of planet killing plastic, is reportedly pursuing legal action against the UK Chancellor over what it deems a “clear and deliberate infringement of intellectual property” concerning the distinctive hairstyle of Reevsie. In an exclusive interview conducted amidst her Vogue photo shoot, the Chancellor firmly denied the allegations, asserting that “my hairstyle absolutely and fully conforms with my personal aesthetic without exception.”
Former Labour leader Ed Miliband has publicly defended the Chancellor, asserting that the two were romantically involved several years before the establishment of the toy company in 1932.
Miliband, whilst contorting his plasticine face into a gross, gargoyle but stupid like image, further claimed that she had maintained the same “mathematically accurate” hairstyle during that period. In an unusual display of solidarity with his political ally, Miliband was observed opening a tin of Quality Streets and spilling his teenage collection of Lego onto the floor before retiring for the night, a gesture interpreted by some as a sign of political unity and ideological camaraderie.
In contrast, the individual referred to as “Big Nose” has yet to comment on the ongoing legal proceedings, though she has assured the public that the matter will not be “absolutely, black hole, absolutely, growth and absolutely, change, absolutely”.
The Prime Minister was approached for comment on the developing scandal but quickly retreated for what insiders at Downing Street have described as his “5 times daily, rug period.”
