In his latest coffer swelling bid, the Lilliputian Mayor has expressed plans to install his unpopular ULEZ traffic cameras along the planned new runway at Heathrow airport. Citing climate change, air quality and some personal enrichment, the pint sized would be oligarch waded in on the current plans with designs for cameras at each runway threshold with further cameras on taxiways and gates. Questioned on whether he would introduce parking charges at the passenger gates, the stunted circus reject bellowed ‘now you’re being ridiculous innit’ before being lifted into his armoured V8 Range Rover by a normally sized biped.
Upon hearing of his dastardly plans, Rachel from accounts stated ‘it is and always has been Labours intention to fight climate change by taxing working people to offset carbon emissions’ before giving the money to third world shitholes and the Zelensky marching powder fund.
Sources inside No.10 remained silent. Not that we have any sources. We just couldn’t be arsed to make shit up this time.
https://twitter.com/Evil_Curry/status/1882797776016486565
